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Funny Coffee Quotes

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

To an old man a cup of coffee is like the door post of an old house — it sustains and strengthens him. – Old Bourbon Proverb

Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven’t had our coffee, in which case we feel 107. – Martha Beck

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. – Ronald Regan

To an old man, a cup of coffee is like the doorpost of an old house – it sustains and strengthens him.

Funny Coffee Quotes
Funny Coffee Quotes

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. – Abraham Lincoln

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. – Alfred Renyi

Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot. – Vijjay Kumar

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee. – Terri Guillemets

He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something. – Josephine Baker

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. – Bill Cosby

People say money can’t buy happiness. They lie. Money buys Coffee, Coffee makes Me Happy!

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who genuinely have a medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. – Dave Barry

Funny Coffee Quotes
Funny Coffee Quotes

Too much coffee. Too much coffee and Gatorade. It’s a hell of a mix. If you’re ever tired in the morning, just try that mix, and tell me what you think. – Kevin Garnett

Coffee: the favorite drink of the civilized world. – Thomas Jefferson

The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks. – James Mackintosh

It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. – Donna A. Favors

When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas. – Emo Phillips

Townes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I’ll stand on Bob Dylan’s coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that. – Steve Earle

Funny Coffee Quotes
Funny Coffee Quotes

Coffee is always a good idea.

What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee? – Anthony Trollope

Coffee. Creative lighter fluid. – Floyd Maxwell

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? – Steven Wright

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table. There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it. – Garrison Keillor

When you make it your habit to notice small moments of beauty, you caffeinated your spirit.

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second. – Edward Abbey

Famous Coffee Lover Quotes: Inspirational & Funny 

  • A 41 – inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more. – Jayne Mansfield
  • Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend! – Gerard Way
  • I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. – Eddie Izzard
  • I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee. – Burt Lancaster
  • Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. – Earl Wilson
  • Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future. – Ian Somerhalder
  • Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? – Albert Camus
  • As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be? – Cassandra Clare
Funny Coffee Quotes
Funny Coffee Quotes
  • I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright
  • It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee – house for the voice of the kingdom. – Jonathan Swift
  • Coffee helps me maintain my never killed anyone streak.
  • In dog coffees, I’ve only had one.
  • My birthstone is a coffee bean.
  • I put coffee in my coffee.
  • The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr
  • Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.
  • My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.
  • Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed.
Funny Coffee Quotes
Funny Coffee Quotes
  • Drinking beer in a coffee mug. I feel like I am cheating on my coffee.
  • We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.
  • Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with. – Terri Guillemets
  • Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.
  • I don’t know what I’d do without coffee. I’m guessing 25 to life.
  • 7 days without coffee makes one WEAK.
  • Caffeine – It maintains my sunny personality.

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